‘Bitch’ is a word that, on occasion, expresses my resentment at others receiving a massage, pedicure or fabulous new hairstyle when I’m missing out. Never has this been more apt than when trotting around the neat streets of Tokyo in my newly-purchased Diana heels (desperately on-trend shoe Mecca over here).

Every corner, middle or somewhere in between is littered with boutiques, salons and even cafes of the canine variety, for little mutts of an indescript breed to puffy poodles with matching claw vanish (in OPI’s shade ‘My Chihuahua bites’, of course): They’re all pampered, preened and then dressed to the nines.

Little Felix or Fido emerges all coiffed and coutured in Dior, with matching hats – and, if they’re really lucky, they even circumvent the drudgery of the dreaded ‘walkies’ by riding it out coolly in the comfort of the doggy pram. Imagine my surprise when I first leant over to admire the new infant to find a dachshund growling menacingly at me…

Can’t imagine Mrs Ibiza’s neighbour’s Alsatian Peligroso particularly humouring this treatment, but it seems de rigueur in the land of the rising sun.

Not since Strelka was shot into space on the Sputnik 5 has the dog population been so lauded by humans as they are in Japan today. And the best thing about these furry little four legged friends? You don’t have to endure nine months of figure-zapping gestation to have one!

And while I check myself in the shop window to find more hairs out of place than the pooch inside who’s enjoying a blow-dry at the local Candy Jam dog grooming spa, the niñas shriek “kawaii” in delight – being the operative word over here for cute. Japan is a society based on the principle of cuteness. Back in Blighty, lorry drivers typically parade naked women or fierce beasts on their vehicles – in Japan it will be a kawaii little cartoon character. Women’s fashion is diverse, but leans towards frills, lace and pussy bow blouses, complete with kawaii trotting on heels regardless of occasion. The übertrendy Takeshita Dori in Harajuku is littered with teenage girls donning Victorian era clothing and for a snip, you too can bring a frou frou outfit home to impress (or distress) your friends and family.

“There’s no way in hell I’m taking Sparkles out for a walk dressed in that!” Mr Tokyo exclaimed when seeing our own little pup dressed up in the niñas’ dolls’ clothes, which happen to be about the right size for the unsuspecting, and somewhat bemused Spoodle (That’s a cocker spaniel / poodle mix to you and I – well it sounds better than Cockapoo, which is the alternative).

“Oh please!” The niñas plead with eyes nearly as sad as Sparkles’.

“Look, it’s bad enough chasing around the park shouting ‘Sparkles’, but when she looks like E.T. on a bad hair day I have to draw the line,” growls Mr Tokyo, who as you may recall, wasn’t really a fully fledged supporter of this whole doggy expedition to start with.

Needless to say, Mr Tokyo still ended up walking a fully-clothed pup around the doggy park in Yoyogi Koen with promises of eternal love (or at least for the next hour or two) from the niñas and a tête-a-tête teppanyaki dinner with yours truly at our favourite haunt Morimoto-Xex (Well, if it’s good enough for Leo DiCaprio, it’s good enough for moi.) in Roppongi later that evening.

Now that’s what I call puppy love.

Mrs Tokyo’s little black book:

Diana shoes: www.dianashoes.co.jp/eng/brand/diana.htm

Candy Jam: Azabu Juban Shopping Street

Morimoto Xex: I.K.N Roppongi Bldg. 7-21-19 Roppongi, Minato-ku, Tokyo, Telephone: +813-3479-0065.